Warning: This post is likely more therapeutic for me than it will be interesting to you.
Greetings from the “Homeless Shelter” (as some fellow full-timer’s creatively call it)! I’ve kept the website updated, but I’m WAY behind on new content. For that, I apologize. Unfortunately, my hiatus from blogging has been due to a major change in my life that occurred just over a year ago: Kim and I went our separate ways.
At 38 years old, I’ve gone through my fair share of breakups, but this has been a tough year. Not only were Kim and I in a long-term, committed relationship, but we had been each other’s only consistent friends since we hit the road three years prior. I know that sounds like a “duh” statement, but when you travel full-time, you realistically have no in-person support besides those in your RV. For us, that was each other and the ever-faithful Jet. When Kim left, it was just Jet and me. I couldn’t imagine having a better dog than Jet, but he leaves a little to be desired in the conversation and helping-hand departments.
So, I quickly found myself as a solo, full-time RV’er. Not only did I need to cope with the breakup, but I also had to immediately figure out how to make all of this work by myself. I quickly learned that RV’ing solo is about four times the amount of work as RV’ing with another person. It’s been a challenge and it continues to be a challenge. I’ve had to make some serious adjustments to the way I travel, where I travel and when I travel. Like any other couple that splits, I also went from a two-income household to being the sole breadwinner to fund this carnival’esque life of mine. It’s all doable, but it’s a big and sudden change.
Now that that little nugget is out of the way, the good news is that SOH is still on the road and I’m “living the dream”! Granted, it’s not the dream I once envisioned, but I still enjoy the freedom that this lifestyle allows me. If this experience has given me one clear piece of advice for others, it’s “don’t buy a 41′ coach if you are planning to travel alone”.
What’s next? Great question! Honestly, I don’t know, but I don’t have any plans of coming off
the road. I’m writing this from the parking lot of the RV Fog Doctor in Searcy, AR while I wait to have some dual-paned windows defogged. From here, it’s off to downtown Little Rock for some rare, urban RV’ing. The cornerstone of my 2019 Summer will be the Sturgis motorcycle rally in South Dakota and I’m very excited for that experience. I spend a lot of time “behind bars” (slang for riding a motorcycle) and I thoroughly enjoy the moments out on the road with my face in the breeze, music jamming — AND when making a U-turn isn’t a stroke-inducing task. As much of a planner as I am, I have been doing more extended trips, but short travel days, with no particular destination in mind. That means a lot of nights in Walmart parking lots, casinos or anywhere else I can park this monstrosity. I really enjoy the travel days, but I hate the packing and unpacking that goes with it, so this allows me to travel with minimal (or no) setup and tear-down — plus, it makes it super easy to do my grocery shopping when I can wheel the cart directly to my front door! I’ve also been trying to find more RV-friendly events, such as NASCAR races or motorcycle rallies, to then build my travels around.
What has been the biggest challenge of this new arrangement? Dating. Hahahaha… seriously, though. For some crazy reason, women my age just can’t seem to get behind going on dates with a guy who will drive off into the sunset in three weeks, or less. What’s up with them!? ? If you happen to know of a smart, attractive, driven, nomadic-at-heart, ~40 year old woman who is looking to hit the road, shoot me a message!
Alright, now that we’re all caught up on the not-so-fun stuff, I can tell you that nearly everything else is going well! Our triathlon coaching business is growing faster than it ever has before, Jet The Dog is hanging in there at an elderly 12 years old, and Lucky is running about as well as I could ask for (knock on wood)! I still own lot #60 at the Hilton Head Island Motorcoach Resort and it’s managed to avoid any serious damage from the darts that Mother Nature has been throwing at the East coast the past couple years.
It is my hope by publishing this long overdue and depressing post that I can now begin to write and publish on a more regular basis without the fear of someone asking “what’s been happening – you never blog anymore!?” The conversation that follows that question is one that I go out of my way to avoid. So, we’re all on the same page now, right? Great.
I sincerely hope that everyone has been well and we cross paths sooner, rather than later!
See you on the road,
Ryan and Jet
4 thoughts on “Long Overdue Check-In”
I’d second the recommendation to check out Xscapers. We went to one of the convergences last August and probably a quarter of the attendees were single RVers, and they’re almost all in their 30s and 40s. Everyone we met was really easygoing and they have lots of events to take part in. I don’t know how many people are finding serious relationships, but you’ll at least find lots of people who are traveling solo and won’t think you’re nuts. Good luck!
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! I’m a member of Escapees and Xscapers. I’ve only been to one convergence – 2017 Solarfest in Madras, OR. At that time, I wasn’t single, but it was a great time. I’m definitely going to look into their rallies this summer. Thanks again and safe travels!
Sorry to hear that man, we’ve all been there and breakups are tough (although I haven’t had to go through that with someone I was living on the road with so I can imagine it’s that much harder). But I too am a solo fulltimer and as you’ve already discovered it’s not easy dating on the road. At first I tried the popular dating apps to meet local women in whichever town I was staying in for a few weeks, but as you already indicated once they figure out you’re just passing through you might as well be wearing man-repellent. Meeting single women at campgrounds? Ha, they’re either a unicorn or probably out of my age range. Maybe joining clubs or caravans might be a better way to meet similar-minded female nomads. I joined Xscapers but so far the timing hasn’t worked out yet for me to attend any of their convergences (although I’m hoping to later this summer). I don’t want say I “gave up”, more like I’m just not putting so much of my energy into it anymore. The reality is living on the road is not a good lifestyle for dating, and I’ve come to accept being solo (with my dogs) and simply enjoying each day and what the area has to offer. I figure if you’re enjoying what you have instead of chasing what you don’t have you’ll eventually attract the right people. Best of luck!
Andy, this is a great comment! You hit the nail right on the head! I’m certainly not in any rush to jump into a committed relationship, but also not opposed to it. I find the occasional Tinder date for some companionship, and that keeps me content. I kind of added in that part of the post as a joke, but there’s a lot of truth to it. When I first began thinking about dating, I was like “how in the hell is this going to work!?”
I will say that after a year of being alone – not just single, but alone – I’m much more quiet and reserved in social settings than I used to be. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s pretty amazing how this year has changed me as a person.
I’ve found being a solo RV’er has its perks too; we get to go do what we want, when we want and how we want. AND my tanks last forever before I need to dump now. ?
Hopefully we’ll cross paths at some point – maybe at an Xscapers convergence! I’ve yet to even hang out with another solo RV’er of either sex. Could be sort of fun to swap war stories from the road.
Thanks for reading and especially for taking the time to leave this comment. Safe travels!
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